Confessions from an American to the Third World

As I was working out at the gym today, I thought how absurd it would be to tell someone in a third world country that I pay money to sit on a bike in an air conditioned room (after I explained what A/C is) and pedal to nowhere because I am trying to lose weight. That would be confusing on so many levels! So I then began to think of some of the other ways I live my life  that I would be ashamed to admit to someone living in third world poverty.  Here are my confessions.....

When I get up in the morning, I flip on a light, flush the toilet, turn on a coffee maker, watch the news on my big TV, take clothes out of the dryer, and start my dishwasher.


I know you get up in the dark, go to the bathroom in the woods, make coffee by hand over an open fire, walk 2 hours to get 5 gallons of water and wash clothes in the same stream (which will take all day) and come home to cook for 4-5 hours and wash the dishes in the little bit of the 5 gallons you got early this morning. What took me 10 minutes will take you 10 hours. I get that.

Making coffee

Getting water from the water source

Washing dishes

Washing clothes

I drive my kids to school (we live about 2 miles from their schools) and pick them up in the afternoons.

I know you send your kids walking to school usually around sunrise and they might walk 2-3 hours. I get that.

 

Walking to school

My kids get a hot lunch in the school cafeteria every day and have many choices of different fresh fruits and vegetables. They also get real milk every single day.

I know your kids are fed beans and rice almost every day in school, except for those days when the school cannot afford to feed them. I get that.

Eating lunch

Cooking for the 300 students in a Haitian school

When my kids don't like what is on their plate for dinner we usually throw it away. America wastes 34.7 million tons of food a year.

I know you waste nothing. You probably have never thrown food away. I get that.

Eating every last bite

Americans spend an average of $765 a year at Christmas, which is about what my family spent this year. Christmas is that holiday that you only know as a celebration of Jesus' birth, but we go blow a bunch of money on people who don't usually NEED anything. 

I know you have never been able to buy your child a toy.  I get that.

 

                Toy made by a child              Playing with blocks

With my husband's job, I have something we call health insurance which helps pay for me to go to the doctor. If people in America have an emergency and do not have insurance they can go the hospital and the doctor will see them.

I know that before you are seen by a doctor, you pay first. If you cannot pay they turn you away at most hospitals and clinics. I get that.

Thyroid condition gone untreated

 If you had a condition that needed treatment like orthopedics, burn care, spinal cord injury, or cleft palate in the US, we have organizations like the Shriners who see you, regardless of your ability to pay.

I know that both of you just recently saw a doctor for the first time and have lived with your conditions, wondering why you were different from everyone else you knew. I get that.

Jean Marc, 22 years old                  Saintelise, 14 years old

In America, 27.7% of the people are obese, which means very fat. The weight loss industry is worth 20 billion dollars and we are still fat. Me included.

I know your biggest concern is being malnourished and underweight. I get that.

Food scarcity

In America, we have laws that require children to get schooling and prohibits them from working until they are a certain age.

 

Working to help the family

I know that your children learn to work at a very young age in order to survive and sometimes they don't go to school because your spouse died and you cannot feed the family on your own. I get that.

And why do I say all this? To make Americans feel bad for all they have and to make the third world feel that they have been given a bad deal in life? Not at all.

What I do want to say to America is....you need to know how the rest of the world lives. Period. You need to see it, experience the joys and the pain of it and then let God do the work in you. I have no idea what that will be for your life but once you have witnessed it, you will be different. I am suggesting that you consider making your world bigger......that you increase the borders of your life. Maybe you have reduced your world to just your family, or just your city or country. There is room in your life for the rest of the world too. I promise. God will not call you to everyone all over the world but I am confident he will call you SOMEWHERE. The confessions in this blog are about my own life- not yours. So don't get all hot and bothered that I made you feel bad. I was only stating the truth and hopefully that got you thinking. That is my only hope for writing to you.

What I want to say to the third world is....you need to know that we are really working hard here in America to be more compassionate and less judgmental of your circumstances. We say things like "We take care of our own" and that is pure ignorance but we are asking God to give us new eyes to see beyond ourselves. Please be patient with us.  Also, when we see you work tirelessly to survive we don't really understand how hard it is but we are trying to "walk a mile in your shoes."  I know this sounds crazy, but we are actually very jealous of the simplicity of your lives and the character that you exhibit. Because we don't have to overcome as many obstacles, we don't learn lessons about perseverance, dependence on God for everything, and sacrifice the way you do. We want kids who are hard workers, not entitled, and dedicated the way yours are but the bottom line is that most of our kids are nowhere close to that. We try so hard to teach these lessons but we get caught up in making our kids "happy" and not "holy" so we miss the mark. Please pray for us and our children. Finally, the the most important point I want to make is this....YOU make me brave. You teach me every time I see you and I strive to be more courageous because I know you. Thank you for that gift.

Haiti.....a journey through time

We came to Chauffard, Haiti in 2009- one year before the earthquake.

When we arrived, this was their "school."  It held 40 students and 2 teachers in this one small building. It is hard for us as Americans to comprehend that this could be a school but it was.

.

Within a few months, our team in Haiti was able to build this structure and we were thrilled with it! They cleared a corn field and got to work. We had limited funds so the walls stopped when the money ran out. At this time we started our stateside nonprofit organization, CPI Haiti.

Because the climate is very rainy and the tarp was so small, our school could not really grow. The tents in the picture are where our team stayed when were there.

 We then were able to purchase a larger tarp but not one with a long life expectancy....it was thin and began ripping but the Haitians continued to patch it and care for it.  

This is when we were ready to take it down and put up our new tent....

Even though we felt like we were in a circus arena, the school was thrilled with a thicker, more durable tarp. They met under here for about a year.

And then we had a financial gift that allowed us to erect a REAL building!

Meanwhile, the school moved up the mountain and met in this small space for most of the school year in 2011. 

As our space grew we were able to accomodate more students and needed a way to financially support more teachers, supplies, etc.so we started a sponsorship program. We came back and asked everyone we knew to invest in the future of the school.

Then the first floor building was finished and there were a lot of ecstatic teachers and students!

Watch a clip from the school chapel service here

We hoped for classrooms but we did not have the funds at the time to continue building. By July 2012 we had raised the money to build a second story to have a library and 6 classrooms.

The students could then enjoy having their own learning space for the first time. 

We even gave the rooms makeovers in November 2014! 

In August 2014, we had our first ever graduation ceremony for the 12 out of 13 6th graders in our school who graduated!

Our sponsorship program has continued to grow and to date we have 150 students sponsored....but the work is not finished.

The needs are great.....

We are not able to feed our school everyday. When we cannot afford to feed them lunch, they don't eat. The students pick up firewood on their way to school each day but sometimes we don't have the beans and rice to make a meal. Those days they go without.

The roads are difficult and hard to travel. We spent a lot of money on renting vehicles over the first few years.

Several years ago we were able to buy a truck and ship it to Haiti. The truck is used to transport teachers, food, and groups. It is constantly needing new tires and other repairs.

 We desperately need a medical clinic. People in Chauffard die from preventable diseases all the time. Here are a few who died in the past year from common, curable illnesses. 

We need to increase our number of sponsors so we can provide students like Julien a secondary education. He was the #1 student in the entire region on the state exam in 6th grade but has had to drop out of school because he cannot afford secondary school in the city, which includes tuition, books, housing, and food. It is tragic for an eager, bright student not to make it past 6th grade due to finances. If we had the funding we would start a secondary school in our village so our students who graduate would not need to live away from home and pay for an education that is not feasible for most.

You can learn more about our organization at cpihaiti.org.

Watch a short clip about CPI Haiti

There is no place for arrogance when it comes to education.....

These four characters could not be more different. Without selling any of them out, I will say one is laid back, one is very fiesty, one is honest as Abe and the other not so much. One loves school- every minute of it and the other three- not at all.  One loves guitar, the other baseball and writing, another the Army and the last one working and tennis. What do you do with all these differences when it comes to their schooling? So many choices.

Public school. Charter school. Magnet school. Christian classical school. Private Christian school. Between our four children, we have been exposed to all of them.  Four kids who have been through different stages with different needs and all these options fit at the time. For a season. When it was time to move on, we knew and we prayerfully made changes.

But what makes a school amazing? Teachers. Educators. Paras. Coaches. The ones who come in day after day, week after week and have the task to make learning come alive to a room of mismatched students who may or may not want to be there. The ones who teach and then coach a sport on the side. The ones who email me at 11:30 at night as they are just getting around to grading papers. The ones who welcome me into their classrooms to teach about the life cycle of the butterfly or life in the third world. Easy? No way. Is it a calling? Absolutely.

If my math is correct, (which I will not assume to be true but has nothing to do with teachers like Mr. Kendrick in 7th grade who tried his darndest to teach me), my children have had 85 different teachers between them. That is a LOT of teachers......their success academically clearly shows what they have learned from these teachers but I have recently asked the question- what have I learned from them?

Everybody has opinions about schools, but I have seen many people haphazardly stereotype schools without real knowledge about them. We generalize, make assumptions, and put them in categories which are often based on unrealistic conclusions. Why are we so quick to bash the type of schooling where our children are not? I believe it is because we desperately want to convince ourselves that the schools where are children are exceed all others to ease our minds that we are doing the right thing. So private schoolers bash public schoolers, homeschoolers bash private schoolers and we all walk around being prideful and unapproachable when it comes to education.  I have been shamed so many times by people who disagree with our choice of schools that I don't even want to talk about it with people.  I have had people assume my children are homeschooled because they are so grounded. Huh?? There are many avenues that lead to good kids. Seriously.

We, as parents, need to stay teachable. Being arrogant will get us nowhere.  What happens when we need to change our child's schooling and we are too prideful to do so because we have spent so much of our time slamming the very school our child now needs? Not good. At all.

Quality teachers can be found in small schools, large ones, private and public. I would say that 90% of my children's teachers shared our Christian faith without crossing any ethical boundaries in the classroom. The ones who have not been Christians have indirectly taught my children how to respect someone with a different faith and we have had teachable moments at home about what that looks like.

The classroom is like a microcosm of the real world.  Learning to get along, sharing, waiting for a chance to speak, following directions and trying to hold to a schedule- everyday our children are challenged with mastering these life skills. Priceless lessons that we need for the rest of our lives. We need teachers willing to work patiently with our children as they learn these life skills at their own pace.

Do they all do it successfully?  No. So what about the teachers who have not been what my children have needed? I am thankful for them too. My children need to learn to adapt to different personalities and environments. We have had the school years when the pieces do not seem to be falling into place and in those moments, my children have learned to respect, even when personalities may not mix very well. Not always easy lessons, but one day it will be a boss, a co-worker, or a college roommate and they will need to know what it takes to find common ground with someone and work together.

I am not discounting that there are teachers who do a disservice to education.  Some make horrible, ethically disastrous decisions and I am certainly not supporting that kind of behavior. We have not personally faced that but I am sure some have- that is a whole other category and I am sorry for anyone affected by those teachers.

As I have thought a lot about education lately, I asked each of my kids to name their favorite teachers. They could have named many but I had to narrow it down to two each just so this does not go on all day.

Here is what they said:

Kobe:
Mr. Morgan- McKeel Academy....wrestling coach and health teacher
"Mr. Morgan was a best friend looking out for me and holding me accountable.  He was caring, spirited, and passionate about his faith."
Mrs. Grant- Dixieland Elementary, 5th grade
"Mrs. Grant was strict with love and always there to help."

Connor:
Mrs. Maurer- Lakeland High School, 10th grade English
"Mrs. Maurer is very smart and hardcore but I learned the most in her class."
Mr. Cleveland- Lakeland High School, 11th grade English
"Mr. Cleveland relates well to his students and is very insightful."

Coleman:
Mr. Strawbridge- Geneva Classical Academy, many grades and subjecs- first of all, Coleman can barely put Mr. Strawbridge into words...the only ones he could get out at first were "the bomb" and "JUST SO AWESOME!!"
Then he said, "He is very down to earth and he is young, relates well to students, and is a very capturing teacher."
Dr. Phillips- Harrison School of the Arts, 9th grade guitar
"He is awesome because he is very determined and is an excellent guitarist so it is not hard to trust him. He is fun but strict."

Cooper:
Mr. Groff- Cleveland Court Elementary, 5th grade
"Mr. Groff is an incredible teacher and he takes the time to explain things to his students."
Mrs. Myers- Cleveland Court Elementary, 2nd grade
"Mrs. Myers is the best teacher because she is extremely nice and loves kids!"

The teachers who have personally taught me the most are:
Pam Norris, who taught Connor and Coleman in 2nd grade at Rochelle School of the Arts, is one of the most precious people I have ever know.  Kindness exudes from her and my boys knew she was one of their biggest fans.
Doug Smith, retired Navy and teaching math at Genenva Classical Academy, was able to somehow weave so many life lessons into math that I learned from them second hand!

Naomi Wilson....the most precious teacher I ever had. It was 2nd grade at Cleveland Court Elementary in 1977. She was there for me when I really needed her.  Losing her this year was heartbreaking.

So.....we keep on keeping on.  Knowing we don't have all the answers and continually seeking the best options for each of our children, we must humbly choose the path best suited for them and appreciate the educators who give their lives away to them every day.